Relax your breath, notice each breath moving through the nostrils. Then after a few minutes, drop your breath awareness to the navel.
Next drop awareness to the perineum, between the testicles and anus.
And then to the pelvic floor. Bring your awareness to your pelvic floor and relax everything.
Relax your buttocks and anus.
(The pelvic floor is the web of muscles across the base of the pelvis, attaching to the sitz bones, pubic bone and coccyx, forming the base of your torso)
The genitals are enmeshed in these muscles. Usually you are continually pulling up the pelvic floor unconsciously with your inner tension, cutting of sensation.
Orgasms are thought of as the final destination of every sexual encounter. Ironically, the pressure we put on ourselves to have orgasms can seriously get in the way of us having them. If we spent less time worrying about orgasms and more time learning about them (that’s hands on and hands off learning) chances are we’d all be closer to having the kind of sexual pleasure, including orgasms, that most of us crave.
What Is an Orgasm?
Is orgasm the physical rush and release? Is orgasm a psychological feeling of abandonment? Is it the spiritual transcendence the French refer to as “the little death”? Before you start to worry too much about having the right orgasms, enough orgasms, and better orgasms, take a few minutes to consider how you define orgasm for yourself, and how researchers define orgasm for all of us.
Are Orgasms Different for Men and Women?
Like it or not, we all compare ourselves to other people. When it comes to gender, most of us are raised believing that men and women are fundamentally different creatures. So does that mean our orgasms are different too?
How Can I Tell if I’ve Had an Orgasm?
Orgasms don’t come easily for many of us. Raised with a lack of sex education, and sometimes with negative messages about our bodies and our sexuality, a lot of us live with sexual uncertainty, including questions about whether we’re even having orgasms. There’s no single test to tell if you’ve had an orgasm, but there are important questions to ask yourself along the way that can lead to healthy sex with and without orgasms.
Is It True that Orgasms Are Good for Your Health?
Orgasms don’t just feel great, there is preliminary research that suggests that frequent orgasms can come with all sorts of health benefits, from reducing the risk of prostate cancer and heart disease to helping us deal with stress and sleeplessness.